Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
