with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I love having hate sex.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Randomize
