New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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