I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
