i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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