well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
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