Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
