Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize