...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Randomize
