You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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