Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
