Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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