I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize