is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
