i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize