if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
