so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
