i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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