He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
