My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize