Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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