24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
