at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
