How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
