A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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