So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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