But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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