just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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