I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
