I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
