I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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