If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
