i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
