the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
