did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
