all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
