Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
