I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
