So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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