i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
