Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Randomize
