this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
