HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i barfeds in our rink
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Randomize
