Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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