Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
