UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
