Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
