I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
