i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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