Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
