If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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