yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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