return my video game
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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