I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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