# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
