I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
