Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
