i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
