her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
