There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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